I am a Book Blogger // story time

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

   Hello, lovely people! Today, I want to be a little vulnerable with you guys & share something that is very near and dear to my heart. And honestly, it's a little hard to explain, but I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens. To fully explain, I'm gonna tell you a little story... And it's about something that happened to me last week.

   I went to Half-Priced Books the other day in order to return an accidental repeat-buy. (Hehe, oops! *blushes*) I waited at the counter, drooling over all the other books waiting on the shelves behind me, and trying not to feel embarrassed over my situation. Finally, a young lady who seemed like she was in management approached me & offered to help.

   "I'm just returning this repeat-buy," I chuckled, slightly self-conscious. "Apparently I already had this book on my shelf at home & didn't realize it."

   The lady smiled. "It happens wayyyy more often than you would think! Don't worry about it."

   "Yeah, it's especially easy for me. I'm a book blogger, so I go through a lot of books." I started feeling quite comfortable settling into this conversation. It was pleasant to be able to just talk about books with a stranger near my own age.

   "Oh my gosh, a book blogger? That's so cool!" she grinned. "Do you, like, work with a company, or do you have your own website?"

   "I have my own website. I do book reviews and stuff..." I choked, finally realizing that I totally just talked about my blogopenly. Something I make a general rule to NEVER EVER DO.

*me cringing on the inside*

   "That's so neat... Hey, do you want your money back in cash or on your card?"

   "Let's go with cash. I've been eyeing that shelf with the new releases and I might just wander over there and see what I can find." My thoughts were now on books. I was like a kid in a candy store. Books everywhereeeee... *squeeeeee*

*me running for books*

   "Oh, yeah! We just had a new shipment come in. There's some good stuff on the shelves today. Hope you find something!"

   "Thank you so much!" I said, turning to walk away. I approached a shelf and began to delve into beautiful covers and quickly started to lose myself. *swoons over beautiful books*

   A few minutes later, out of the blue, the lady popped her head around a shelf and said, "Hey! I totally forgot to ask... What's the name of your website?"

"wait... what?"

   I was tongue-tied! A random person in the bookstore wanted to check out my book blog! Go flipping figure! "Um... if you'll give me a pen & paper, I can write it down for you," I finally offered when I got my brain back together again.

   "Perfect!" she said, running off to grab both.

   It was then, my friends, that I openly shared Plottinger Twist with someone whom I met in-person. It was the first time I had ever shared my blog with another human who was not a close friend or an online acquaintance. And if I'm perfectly honest, I kind of enjoyed it.

   What I'm trying to say is this...

   Plottinger Twist has been a place of refuge for me for several years. The blogging/book-loving community has been a safe place for me to spread my wings and be myself. I have been able to verbalize things here that I didn't feel comfortable voicing anywhere else. I've been able to express myself without fear of stuttering or simply not being understood.

And while all of that is great....... I've been embarrassed and self-conscious of this facet of my life. 

   It's not that I've necessarily be ashamed of my blog per say. It's that I was so afraid of being judged and made fun of by people I know that I kept my blog a total secret. Only a handful of people I know in "real life" know I blog. And even fewer have the link to find it. But that's beside the point.

   The point here is I am proud to be a book blogger. I am proud of my little blog and how much it has grown. I am proud to be a writer. I am proud to be a bookworm. I am proud of this part of my life. And I am not going to keep it a big, huge secret anymore. I am going to be more open about my blog, my writing, and this part of who I am.

   I refuse to allow myself to hide something so important to me. I refuse to be timid and not own who I am with all of the flare I can muster. I refuse to be so concerned about what others think of me that I don't allow myself to be myself 110% of the time. And I refuse to turn down the chance of reaching more people and touching the world with my unique sparkle.


   So tell me, lovelies, how many of you out there are self-concious about your writing/blogging/book-reading life? Do any of you feel like joining me in this new step towards combining "real life" and the blogging community? Have you ever shared your blog with a random stranger? Would you ever do it? Tell me in the comments!

Currently Reading: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
Just Finished: Where Things Come Back by John Corey Whaley
Listening to: Emily Hearn

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